All About Love: Love Marriage: What is Forced marriage?

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As I have posted about Love Marriage in my previous posts of this blog. And Arranged Marriage was already mentioned in the previous post as well. And about Forced marriage had also some introduce on the Love Marriage post as well. This post you will read more details about Forced Marriage...

Visa-Love: Love Marriage: Forced Marriage

Forced marriage is a term used to describe a marriage in which one or both of the parties is married without his or her consent or against his or her will. A forced marriage differs from an arranged marriage, in which both parties consent to the assistance of their parents or a third party (such as a matchmaker) in identifying a spouse, although the difference between the two may be indistinct. The practice of forced marriage was quite common amongst the upper classes in Europe until the 20th century, and is still practiced in parts of South Asia, East Asia, the Middle East, and Africa. Forced marriages now in Western Europe and North America are generally committed within communities of immigrants from such areas. In most but not all forced marriages, it is the female (rather than the male) who is the involuntary spouse.

What is Forced marriage?

A marriage must be entered into with the full and free consent of both people. Everyone involved should feel that they have a choice.

An arranged marriage is not the same as a forced marriage. In an arranged marriage, the families take a leading role in choosing the marriage partner.
The marriage is entered into freely by both people. However, in some cases, one or both people are ‘forced’ into a marriage that their families want.

A forced marriage is a marriage conducted without the valid consent of both people, where pressure or abuse is used.

You might be put under both physical pressure (when someone threatens to or actually does hurt you), or emotional pressure (for example, when someone makes you feel like you’re bringing shame on your family) to get married.

In some cases people may be taken abroad without knowing that they are to be married. When they arrive in the country their passports may be taken by their family to try and stop them from returning home.

FORCED marriage is an abuse of human rights,
and a form of domestic violence and child abuse.

The United Nations views forced marriage as a form of human rights abuse, since it violates the principle of the freedom and autonomy of individuals. The Roman Catholic Church deems forced marriage grounds for granting an annulment — for a marriage to be valid both parties must give their consent freely.

In response to the problem of forced marriages among immigrants in the UK, the Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007 was passed, which enables the victims of forced marriage to apply for court orders for their protection.

Historically, forced marriage was used to require a captive (slave or prisoner of war) to integrate with the host community, and accept his or her fate. One example is the English blacksmith John R. Jewitt, who spent 3 years as a captive of the Nootka people on the Pacific Northwest Coast in 1802-1805. He was ordered to marry, because the council of chiefs thought that a wife and family would reconcile him to staying with his captors for life. Jewitt was given a choice between forced marriage for himself and capital punishment for both him and his "father" (a fellow captive). "Reduced to this sad extremity, with death on the one side, and matrimony on the other, I thought proper to choose what appeared to me the least of the two evils".

An Example of Forced Marriage:

A shotgun wedding is a form of forced marriage occasioned by an unplanned pregnancy. Some religions and cultures consider it a moral imperative to marry in such a situation, based on reasoning that premarital sex is sinful. The phrase is an American colloquialism, though it is also used in other parts of the world.

It is based on a hyperbolic scenario in which the pregnant female's father resorts to coercion (such as threatening with a shotgun) to ensure that the male partner who caused the female's pregnancy goes through with it, sometimes even following the man to the altar to prevent his escape. The use of violent coercion to marry is no longer legal in the United States, although many anecdotal stories and folk songs record instances of such intimidation in the 18th and 19th centuries. Purposes of the wedding include recourse from the male for the act of impregnation and to ensure that the child is raised by both parents as well as to ensure that the woman has material means of support. In some cases, a major objective was the restoring of social honor to the mother.

Shotgun weddings have become less common as the stigma associated with out-of-wedlock births has gradually faded and the number of such births has increased; the increasing availability of birth control and abortion, as well as material support to unwed mothers such as welfare has also reduced the perceived need for such measures.

In Japan, the slang term Dekichatta kekkon (a marriage necessitated by an unplanned pregnancy) emerged in the late 1990s with a very similar meaning, although the etymology of the term in Japanese does not imply the same threat of physical violence that the English idiom "shotgun marriage" does. The term dekichatta kekkon can be loosely translated as an "oops marriage" or an "it's-already-happened-marriage". Namie Amuro is credited with beginning a trend of marrying and having children fairly young, at ages 19 or 20. The practice continued to be highly publicized and occurred throughout the late 1990s and first decade of the 21st century. Notable celebrities with shotgun marriages include Nozomi Tsuji and Anna Tsuchiya. Additionally, there is a trend of shotgun marriages among older Japanese for a variety of reasons, including: lack of motivation, limited education received, and socio-economical factors. Older examples include Leah Dizon and Miyavi.

In China, the term (Pinyin: Fèngzǐchénghūn) (literally, "Married by the child") means that the couple married because the woman conceived the child of the man outside of marriage. Similar to American shotgun marriages in parental pressure for the pair to marry, it is becoming increasingly popular for China's youngest generation. However, in the same age group, there is also objection and criticism to such a practice.

A Forced marriage Makes a happiness couple family life?

In my opinion, a couple after a forced marriage is very rarely get happiness, because they are forced at the beginning. For example, a girl has already has boyfriend, but her mother forced her to marry with other boy that she doesn't know before or she doesn't love. What in her mind think? How is she in a pressure to decide. If she accepts with her mother, what will happen if she is living with the boy that she doesn't love. They may often or daily have argument or fight each other. That's the problem...How the marriage begins with happiness???

In United Kingdom, according to Nottinghamshire.police.uk they have a FORCED MARRIAGE UNIT (FMU). If you or someone you know is being forced into marriage either in the UK or abroad, you can contact the FORCED MARRIAGE UNIT (FMU). The Forced Marriage Unit is there to help people who are being forced into marriage. The FMU’s caseworkers understand the issues, the family pressures and how difficult it is to talk about these situations.
The Forced Marriage Unit offers confidential support and information. You have a right to choose... and the Forced Marriage Unit is there to help you.

You can:
Call (+44) (0)20 7008 0151 between 9am and 5pm
Monday to Friday

Emergency Duty Officer (out of office hours)
(+44) (0)20 7008 1500
Or e-mail: fmu@fco.gov.uk
Find out more about the work of the Forced Marriage Unit at: www.fco.gov.uk/forcedmarriage

Forced Marriage Story in The UK:

NARINA’S STORY

“I felt that I had no option. Once they had taken me out of the country there was nothing I could do. I had no contact with anyone but the family. My mother was caught between my feelings and the community’s expectations. They made me feel that I would dishonour my family if I didn’t marry him.”

Narina was 18 when her parents took her back home for a family holiday. She was kept in the family home and wasn’t allowed out on her own. Finally, she and her sister managed to run away and contacted the British Consulate, who found her a place to stay and helped her contact her friends in the UK. She eventually came home and with the help of a women’s refuge and her friends, has built a new life for herself and her sister.

RAJ’S STORY:

“People don’t realise that men can also find themselves in this situation. I don’t know if I could have told anyone even if I’d had the chance to. It’s not exactly macho, is it, admitting that you were held hostage by your family and forced to marry someone you’d never even met…”
Raj was forced into a marriage. When he’d finally returned to the UK, it took him 3 years to get out of it. He may have been able to avoid the financial and emotional turmoil of divorce if he had known about the support and help at hand.

SOLA’S STORY:

“My parents took me back home, saying they wanted me to learn more about our culture and to experience life there. I had no idea they had marriage planned for me. If I had known I would have run away or found help earlier.”
Sola thought she was going overseas to find out more about her culture. However, when she arrived, her family told her that she had to get married. After the marriage she managed to come back to the UK with help from the British Consulate. She has been going to counselling to help her cope with depression and anxiety.

LENA’S STORY:

“My father found out that I had a boyfriend and that changed everything in our family. He literally kept me prisoner in the house, wouldn’t let me see my friends and then started planning my wedding – to a man I had never met! He said that I had to follow our customs, and there would be no discussion. I didn’t have any other way out…”
When Lena’s father found out about her boyfriend, he was so angry that he cut off her hair. He told her that having a boyfriend was against their culture. She would have to marry the man he chose and have a virginity test. Lena was so scared that she took an overdose. Fortunately she recovered in hospital.

A Video of Forced marriage - a woman's story

A woman who was forced to marry a man she barely knew to protect the honour of her family has spoken out about how she came through the experience to help others.

The woman, who has asked not to be identified, was forced to marry a man she had met for only half an hour when her father threatened to kill her if she refused.

After almost nine years in the loveless marriage, she made the brave decision to leave and re-build a life free from the control and emotional blackmail she had lived with from an early age.

Now happily married to a man she loves, the woman is providing help and support to men and woman of all ages experiencing forced marriage and honour based violence.